People often said there will always be rainbow after a hurricane. It will be nice if it happened to me. In life there will always be up and down. People get hurt, they fall, they cried but eventually they will brace up their courage and face the reality. Why would there be sadness? Why would people cry? Why would people love? Why would people care? Millions and millions of why.. I'd admit that I can't be perfect and I always can't. I've tried to make the best out of everything. Family, studies, friends, relationship and personalities. I'm tired.. I don't find myself acting like how I used to be anymore. I felt disgusted wearing a mask to please everyone in my life. I felt disgusted that I couldn't be myself in front of everyone. I have no idea what is on my mind. Damn damn all I do is wish you were here with me. I can't define how it feel. You weren't me. You will never know what I've gone through. I wish I could run away from all these. To a very.. very far away place where no one could ever find me other than sunshine. It's easy for everyone to say, live for your own but not for others. But don't you guys know things are easily to be said than done? I wish I was born without feelings. When I have no feelings, I wouldn't feel sad, I wouldn't feel hurt, I wouldn't hurt others, I wouldn't cry, I wouldn't do things I wasn't suppose to do, I wouldn't..... But I have no option. No choice.. Things often happened in an opposite way.. I hate to make choice. Why can't I just be me? I jokes, I laugh but.. who knows in the bottom of my heart, I'm bleeding inside? Why can't I just leave everything aside and be what I want to be and do what I want to do? Could someone please understand how I feel now? I don't need much concern, just one... One.. will do...